Ever Alone

[Firestar]

Michelle sat in her car, sobbing. Her argument with her mother still rang in her ears. She was in front of Felicity's apartment, trying to stop her tears. Blood was still dripping from her cut wrist, down her hand. She stared out the window at her cousin's home, and finally decided to get it over with. She got out of her car and walked up to the door, knocking quietly.

[trinn]

Looking at herself in the full length mirror, Felicity twisted every which way, trying to see the way the black dress looked at every angle. It was knee length, sleek, and very flattering to her figure. This was the little black dress that every girl needed. It would be perfect for her date tonight. Now, what about her hair? As she was piling her golden locks atop her head, she heard a very soft knock at the door. That couldn't be her date already! He was ten minutes early! Well, she would just have to make do with the natural tresses look. Letting her hair down, Felicity trotted from her bedroom and into the living room. Pausing before the door, she took a deep breath, put on a charming smile, and opened the door.

"Oh my God, Michelle!" Felicity said, completely taken aback by her cousin's haggard appearance. Her smile was completely vanished, her eyes wide in worry. "What happened?" she asked frantically, then, spotting the blood, "You're bleeding!" Felicity finally snapped out of her shock and carefully placed a hand on Michelle's shoulder, guiding her inside. Shutting the door behind her, she walked her over to the couch and sat her down, hugging her to her. "What is it, Michelle? Who did this to you?" Felicity eyed the cuts, wondering if she should perhaps go get some bandages first.

[Firestar]

Michelle had half-expected Felicity's reaction when she answered the door. Before she knew it she was inside her cousin's home. She subconsciously put her hand against her wrist when Felicity mentioned that she was bleeding. She ignored the question and just collapsed on the couch.
"I hate my life," she said numbly. "Everything's so wrong." She stared off into space for a few minutes, not saying a word but fighting tears. Then she looked back at Felicity.
"I just came over to thank you for always being there for me...and to tell you goodbye."

[trinn]

Felicity understood with sudden, painful clarity the cuts on Michelle's wrist. Her face hardened, angry that her cousin, practically a sister, was trying to kill herself. "You listen to me, Michelle," she said sternly, holding Michelle at arms length, "don't you ever, ever, say that to me again. Goodbye? Whatever you're going through, I'll help you. I always do." Taking her hand, Felicity gently examined the cuts. She knew her cousin had taken her parents divorce pretty hard, and her brother's arrest harder, but she couldn't believe suicide had entered the picture. I should have seen it coming, she thought, furious at herself. It had been obvious that Michelle had been depressed, but Felicity had thought she would come out of it eventually. "You stay right there while I go get some medicine for these." Moving quickly, Felicity hastened to her bathroom, retrieving some peroxide and bandaids. With these in hand, she rushed back out to the living room. Pouring some of the peroxide onto a cloth she had taken from the kitchen, Felicity took hold of one of Michelle's hands and began dabbing at the bloody cuts. "I think you should stay with me for a bit." she said as she worked. "Everything will be allright, Michelle." The doorbell rang then, but Felicity didn't even look up. Her date could be pushed back a day.

[Firestar]

Michelle started crying again; she just couldn't help it. Felicity was just as sweet as ever and wanted to help her, but Michelle didn't feel like she wanted help. She just watched as her cousin medicated her cuts, wincing at the pain as she dabbed with the peroxide.
"Felicity, I can't live like this!" she said, her voice tight. "Every time I go home Mom starts screaming at me. I go to Dad's and he's yelling." She pulled her hand away from Felicity and buried her face in her arms. "School's a disaster, everything is going crazy." She rubbed the scars on her arms, remembering every time she had cut the skin, the shrieking pain. She didn't feel better for doing it, but she always told herself she did.
"Do you even know what it's like? I want to just die! If I killed myself, Mom and Dad probably wouldn't even notice."

[trinn]

Michelle was really starting to freak her out. How could such words be coming from someone who used to love life? Placing the peroxide and bandaids on an end table, Felicity put an arm over her cousin's shoulders, hugging her closely. She didn't know what to say. Her parents loved each other, she and her brothers got along perfectly, and there were often family dinners on Sundays. "I don't know what it's like, Michelle. But I do know that you can pull through this. And I know that your parents would be devestated if you died." The doorbell rang again, persistant. "I promise that if you hang out here for a few days, you'll start to feel better. I can even help you with your schoolwork." From her perspective, Felicity could see a row of scars from previous cuttings. The sight sickened her, made her want to hit herself for not noticing sooner.

[Firestar]

Michelle was grateful for Felicity's comfort, but her despair hung over her like a soaked blanket, her heart sinking under its enormous weight.
"I want to stay here," she admitted, "I don't want to go home. All that's waiting for me there are more shouts and screams and possibly something getting thrown in my direction." She wrapped her arms around Felicity, tears still streaming down her face.
~~~~~
Dave walked up to Felicity's door. He hadn't told her he was coming, but he wanted to tell her that he had auditioned for a part in a soap opera and was told that he got it. He would take her to a celebratory dinner...to McDonald's...and pay for it.
He spotted a guy on her front door, ringing the doorbell a little insistently. The dude had a rose in his hand and a confidant--thos impatient--expression on his face. Dave passed him up to the door and the guy glared.
"Hey, man, I got a date with her tonight! Go find your own girlfriend!" Dave turned. He wasn't as large as Felicity's date was, but he still glared at him.
"She's my sister and I'm spending time with her tonight." The date placed his huge hands on Dave's shoulders, ready to throw him from the porch. Before he could do anything, though, a rock suddenly hurdled hard to the guy's head and he stumbled down. Smiling smugly, Dave turned and opened the door.
"Hey, Lissy, guess what..." His voice trailed off and his grin disappeared when he spotted his cousin clinging to Felicity and sobbing. He hadn't seen Michelle for several months.
"Shelly?" he asked, a little shocked at her state. "What's going on?"

[trinn]

"Of course," Felicity said, stroking Michelle's hair. She was close to tears herself, she felt so bad for her cousin. Her door opened then, and at first she thought it was her date barging in. Seeing dave, Felicity relaxed. She thought she caught a glimpse of her date walking away, rubbing the back of his head. "Michelle's going to stay with me for a bit. She's having a rough time at home." Felicity said, feeling that was a drastic understatement. She gestured for Dave to come in and have a seat.

[Firestar]

Dave wandered to a seat close to the girls and couldn't even begin to wonder what the heck was going on. Michelle looked terrible, her eyes so red and her face pale that it made him wonder if she was on something.
"Um...okay...rough time, I can see that," he said. He saw a red line on Michelle's arm and stiffened a little when he realized what it was. Something had cut her badly.
Michelle started a little when her cell phone rang. She forced herself to stop crying so she could see the ID.
"It's Dad..." she said, then answered. "Hello?"
"Michelle, where the h*ll are you?! You mother called and asked if you were here. I told her you weren't and just about accused me of kidnapping you!"
"I'm over at Felicity's, Dad," Michelle said, trying to keep her voice from rising.
Her dad didn't hold back in that regard. She had to pull the phone away from her ear as he shouted, "WELL GET BACK HOME RIGHT NOW, OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL DRAG YOU THERE MYSELF! YOUR MOTHER HAS NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND SHE'S BLAMING ME FOR IT!" Michelle felt her anger rise and she pulled the phone back close to her as she screamed in it.
"YOU KNOW WHAT, DAD?! SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT I'M UP TO AND NEITHER DO YOU! YOU DON'T CARE ANYTHING ABOUT ME! I BET IF I KILLED MYSELF RIGHT NOW YOU WOULDN'T EVEN NOTICE BECAUSE YOU'D BE TOO BUSY GETTING DRUNK OR SHOUTING AT MOM! ISN'T THAT RIGHT?" Her voice grew slightly softer as it cracked. "Well I should, because my life is nothing but hell right now, and I don't need it anymore. I swear I'm going to kil myself someday, and then you and Mom will both be sorry!" She didn't even give him a chance to respond, but threw her phone across the room, where it broke on the floor. She burst into hysterical sobs again and curled up on the couch.

Dave heard the whole thing and could only stare. He looked from Michelle to the broken phone to Felicity.
"Problems...yeah, I kinda see that now..."

[trinn]

A little wide eyed, Felicity listened to the short but intense conversation between Michelle and her father. She was astonished her uncle could sound that way. When Michelle spoke again of killing herself, Felicity winced, hating to hear it. She glanced at Dave once, noting the same look of shock on his face that must be on hers. "Ok." she said, her voice gruff, as Michelle smashed her phone against the floor. "That is the last time I want to hear you say anything about suicide. If anything happened to you I would go crazy!" she said, her eyes boring into Michelles. "Dave," she said, letting her gaze slide over to him, "Will you bandage up those cuts for me? I have a call to make." Standing, she squeezed Michelle's shoulder affectionately before moving into the kitchen, where her cellphone was charging. Sliding it open, she dialed her uncles number. Face grim, she waited for him to answer. There were a few things she had to make clear to him.

[Firestar]

Dave moved to sit beside the hysterical Michelle, trying to be gentle with her as he pulled her arm to him so he could bandage it. He felt a little sickened at the sight of the numerous scars on her arms and wondered why he hadn't noticed them before. Sure he hadn't seen her in a while, but there was no way she could have gotten cut that many times in between. He remembered that the last time he had seen her she was wearing a black jacket, even though it had been fairly warm outside. Now he understood why she wore it.
"Shelly," he said quietly as he bandaged her arm, "Please stop crying. You know I hate to see a girl cry." She hardly seemed to notice. She just pulled her arm away as soon as he finished and curled back around next to him, laying her head on his shoulder. Sighing and at a loss what to do--he wasn't used to comforting people who were contemplating suicide--he pulled the pieces of the broken phone to himself. He wasn't much on an electronic nerd, but he could easily figure out how to fit the piece back together. Using his TK, the cracked screen slowly melded together into a whole and the smashed battery came back together. After a minute or two of working the phone was in one functional piece again.

Michelle's dad was still fuming from his conversation with his daughter when his phone rang. As soon as the caller id told him who it was, he answered and said in a frustrated voice, "Felicity, can you talk some sense into that daughter of mine and tell her to go home?"

[trinn]

Hearing her uncle's frustration, Felicity had a hard time keeping her voice even. "Michelle is staying with me for a few days." she said, her tone final. "On my request. It is clear you are not aware of your daughter's situation, but what she said to you about suicide was completely sincere. While she's with me, I want you to take the time to think about what that means." Felicity paused, trying not to start yelling. How could her uncle, or her aunt, be so unaware of their daughter's mental state? She lived with them, after all! "I'm seriously starting to doubt your ablities as a parent."

[Firestar]

Michelle's dad heard what Felicity was saying, but hardly listened to the.
"Don't be ridiculous, Felicity. Michelle isn't the kind of girl to try suicide. And I resent what you just said to me. How can you make a judgement on my parenting when you have no kids of your own?" He sighed in frustration. "Maybe a couple of days with you will straighten out that girl's head. Just make sure you get her back soon, or her mother'll have a fit."

[trinn]

Breathing hard, trying not to let her temper take control, Felicity snapped her phone shut. It was better to just hang up on her uncle then let herself start a yelling fit. Placing her phone back on the charger, Felicity returned to the living room. Michelle didn't look any better, and it was clear Dave didn't have a clue what to do. For that matter, neither did she. Sitting beside Michelle, Felicity put an arm around her shoulder. "Are you hungry?" she asked her cousin, then glanced up at Dave. "Or you?"

[Firestar]

Michelle shook her head at Felicity's question. Any apptite she would normally have was completely gone. She was feeling a little sick from sobbing so hard and she'd settled down to just letting the tears fall down and occasionally giving a few quiet gasps for air.
Dave shrugged at the question. Yeah, he was hungry, but after this whole scene he didn't feel like eating.
"I was going to offer to take you out to Mickey-D's, but..." He looked back at Michelle. She was only a little calmer than she had been when he came in. The girl glanced up a Felicity.
"I don't guess talking to Dad helped anything, did it?" She already knew the answer before she asked, but didn't have anything else to say.

[trinn]

Touched by Dave's gesture, Felicity gave him a little smile. McDonalds was like fine dining for him, and she would have been delighted to take him up on his offer. After all, the Monapoly game was going on again...

"He knows the situation." Felicity said to Michelle, trying not to frown. "He's agreed to let you stay for a little bit. Don't worry, Shelly. Everything's gonna be allright."

[Firestar]

Michelle was shaking, a little cold and emotionally exhausted. She ran her hand unconsciously against her unbandaged arm, feeling all the scars that she had given herself over the last few months.
"How nice of him," she said dully. Dave wrapped an arm around her shoulder, then felt how cold and shaky she was. He felt around for a blanket, and found a decorative one draped on the back of the couch.
"Lissy's right, Shelly, it'll be fine." He tried not to make it obvious that he was eyeing her scarred arms. At another time he might have bluntly blurted out how stupid shew as being, but he had enough sensitivity to see that that probably wouldn't be well received at the moment.
Michelle leaned against Dave, suddenly missing her brother. All this had started after they heard he was arrested. Intoxicated manslaughter, yeah right. Her brother had never had a drink in his life, even when his friends told him to.
"If only he didn't get himself arrested," she mumbled.

[trinn]

For a moment, Felicity could only stare at Michelle with a sympathetic expression. There didn't seem to be any words that could make the situation better. No, what Shelly needed was her brother. "I'm going to go change, and then I'll be right back." She looked over at Dave, giving him a discreet "holy crap" sort of expression, before standing and heading back to her room. Closing her door, she walked over to her closet and slipped out of the black dress. There would be plenty of other oppurtunities to wear it later. She changed into some comfortable pajamas, thinking it unlikely that she would be getting out tonight. Thinking of Michelle, Felicity grabbed an extra pair of PJs and set them on the bed. Right now, her cousin was probably wanting nothing more than a thoughtless sleep.

[Firestar]

Michelle dully watched after Felicity as she went into her room to change, leaning against Dave. He and Logan were both sort of like older brothers to her since her own brother had left. She was immensely glad for her cousins, feeling like she would not have made it this long if it weren't for them.
She made some effort to smile when Felicity came back dress in PJs with another set. It didn't turn out like much, but at least she gave it a shot.
"Thanks for letting me stay, Felicity," she cracked out, holding back the urge to start sobbing again. Dave stroked Michelle's hair a little, then gave her a small squeeze.
"You should probably get to bed, Shelly," he told her. "You look exhausted." Michelle nodded blearily, standing and taking the pjs from Felicity. She went into another room to change.
Dave looked down at the phone in his hands that he had repaired.
"This is very bad, Lissy," he said quietly.

[trinn]

After Michelle had went into the other room, Felicity sat down heavily on the couch beside Dave. Elbows on her knees, she held her head in her hands, staring blankly at the floor. "More than bad." she muttered. "God, I feel like such an idiot!" Felicity wanted to hit herself for being so dense. How could she not notice such dramatic shifts in her cousin, who was practically like the sister she never had? "I hope I can help her."